Lolita's Fist

Clitorises come in many forms. I read about women in a part of Africa, back in the day, when women couldn’t own land, have a bank account, a house, a garden. They also could not have a clitoris. If they had a clitoris, they could not get married, because no man would want them. So, if your mother didn’t excise your clitoris, she doomed you to no land, no bank account, no house, no garden, no man to feed you. Essential joys-choices are taken from us. Nowadays, our clitorises are ‘you have to be the secretary’, ‘you have to wear dresses’, ‘you have to wear high-heeled shoes’, ‘you have to give me a blowjob’. The currency changes appearance. The currency used to be clitorises, now it’s heels. Audre Lorde says you can’t use the master’s tools, and I think some women can’t recognise the tools. ... Reference: Lorde , Audre. “The Master’s Tools Will Never Dismantle the Master’s House.” 1984. Sister Outsider: Essays and Speeches. Ed. Berkeley, CA: Crossing Press. 110- 114. 2007. Pr

I attend these diversity dialogues. And I am the worst dialoguer. Mainly because I am not the girl to describe-the-problem. Going over and over stuff and exploring feelings over and over is just not me. I went to a psychologist once for many months and was annoyed that I had suspended my disbelief in the process and found that psychologists are trained to describe-the-problem using variables from a pathologising formulaic book that rarely gets updated (DSM). I can think of a few other examples of books that rarely get updated. Problem describers. I love The Dreaming . A part of the dialogue is imagining what the world would look like without that problem. People try to imagine the world, smell it, breathe it, see it. They are so tentative, so hesitant, so bound to reality. People of privilege often don’t know words like ‘the Geni coefficient’ or ‘the Copper T’. I don’t mean to use these obscure terms, I hate people who try to baffle others and I rephrase if another opportunit