On using Titles like Ms, Mrs, Mr
Feminism is awkward territory because it has no status quo that people have settled into comfortably, written books about, and studied on the scale that Sexism has, in its efforts to prop itself up.
If you think about what real progress I made with CENSORED (Company) on the Titling issue you can see that moving forward is a slog. Now consider the sexist practices, they are already there - possession is nine tenths of the law - once you own a thing, it is almost impossible to make you let go of it. CENSORED (Company) owns the paper form and the e-form, the sexism on the form, and the possibility of change. Sexism is entrenched, and change is hard. I am sure that we are working harder to repeal the Title Mrs than the effort that went into setting it up in the first place. The hard part IS doing something about the status quo. I have consistently sent out emails, followed them up, taken steps forward, taken steps back on the Titling issue, among others. I live what I think.
Feminism, like Sexism, (and there is a thin line, one that I joyfully cross every chance I get) covers every little nook and cranny of every possible theory, thing, word, whatever. And we feminists like to think of it as a circle, a continuum. Exponential algebraic anti-formulas everywhere. Somewhere on that continuum falls the woman who supports Mrs, and who would never think of herself as a feminist. And somewhere on the continuum lies the radicallesbianseparatist. And all the bits in between are also feminists. We cannot all think alike, that is insane. That is just another Stepford-Wife type projection onto feminism.
In fact, my personal brand of feminism is woman-centered and informed-choice-centered. I have worked hard to de-focus from 'in-comparison-to-men', from 'what are they doing, get me some of that'. It is really hard to think outside the box. I don't always succeed.
And here is my 'criticism' or your 'toe-crunching' (perspective is everything), warmly delivered, because I still would fight to the death for your right to think like this, because it is an informed decision, that I believe you are constantly tweaking and tinkering with your beliefs, as I am with my beliefs. I, however, do not agree with you. That doesn't mean that what you think is wrong. So:
Our website still upholds the Titling thing. I disagree with Titling altogether. I want 'None', I want 'input field'. You know this, but (and I gave you veto power, willingly, AND you took that power) you took away that option because you have the skill to do it, you 'control' possibility. And that's fine. I don't have that skill, otherwise I would have put FPI up myself. You had the idea, you have the skill, so your ideas are represented. And I am grateful for the opportunity you gave me to support you in this endeavour, it is meaningful to me.
OK now that is out the way, back to the point about thinking outside the box. You are not thinking outside the box. No biggie, you might like the box. I don't like the box. I don't like what men are doing. I want choice. I don't want to work, that's my choice, I want to work, that's my choice, I want to stay at home with 10 babies, that's my choice, I don't want to have babies, that's my choice, I want to do volunteer work, that's my choice, I want to be the CEO of Microsoft, that's my choice. Choice. I don't care what it is, but I believe we should all be operating in a choicefull environment. And Prof, Dr, Mrs, Ms, Miss, Mr, is not choice. It's defining me in terms of my relationship to a man and how much education I have managed to eke out in an education-defined-by-man universe. It's the box defined. Add Compeer, Citizen, Person, Gazi, etc. More defined. Still not including undefined 'none' and 'input field'. Still not addressing the underlying issue that we are man-defined. You and me both.
So subtly, you, and I am sure you have no grave intentions, have overtaken FPI with your beliefs and desires. You have not included me and my beliefs, you have ridden roughshod over them. Inclusivity would have cost nothing - You + Me. I have not yet made up my mind what to make of the fact that you did this, but your infectious enthusiasm is wonderful to behold. And I have, over the years of battling the Titling thing, become aware that others don't necessarily agree with me (ya think?).
If you think about what real progress I made with CENSORED (Company) on the Titling issue you can see that moving forward is a slog. Now consider the sexist practices, they are already there - possession is nine tenths of the law - once you own a thing, it is almost impossible to make you let go of it. CENSORED (Company) owns the paper form and the e-form, the sexism on the form, and the possibility of change. Sexism is entrenched, and change is hard. I am sure that we are working harder to repeal the Title Mrs than the effort that went into setting it up in the first place. The hard part IS doing something about the status quo. I have consistently sent out emails, followed them up, taken steps forward, taken steps back on the Titling issue, among others. I live what I think.
Feminism, like Sexism, (and there is a thin line, one that I joyfully cross every chance I get) covers every little nook and cranny of every possible theory, thing, word, whatever. And we feminists like to think of it as a circle, a continuum. Exponential algebraic anti-formulas everywhere. Somewhere on that continuum falls the woman who supports Mrs, and who would never think of herself as a feminist. And somewhere on the continuum lies the radicallesbianseparatist. And all the bits in between are also feminists. We cannot all think alike, that is insane. That is just another Stepford-Wife type projection onto feminism.
In fact, my personal brand of feminism is woman-centered and informed-choice-centered. I have worked hard to de-focus from 'in-comparison-to-men', from 'what are they doing, get me some of that'. It is really hard to think outside the box. I don't always succeed.
And here is my 'criticism' or your 'toe-crunching' (perspective is everything), warmly delivered, because I still would fight to the death for your right to think like this, because it is an informed decision, that I believe you are constantly tweaking and tinkering with your beliefs, as I am with my beliefs. I, however, do not agree with you. That doesn't mean that what you think is wrong. So:
Our website still upholds the Titling thing. I disagree with Titling altogether. I want 'None', I want 'input field'. You know this, but (and I gave you veto power, willingly, AND you took that power) you took away that option because you have the skill to do it, you 'control' possibility. And that's fine. I don't have that skill, otherwise I would have put FPI up myself. You had the idea, you have the skill, so your ideas are represented. And I am grateful for the opportunity you gave me to support you in this endeavour, it is meaningful to me.
OK now that is out the way, back to the point about thinking outside the box. You are not thinking outside the box. No biggie, you might like the box. I don't like the box. I don't like what men are doing. I want choice. I don't want to work, that's my choice, I want to work, that's my choice, I want to stay at home with 10 babies, that's my choice, I don't want to have babies, that's my choice, I want to do volunteer work, that's my choice, I want to be the CEO of Microsoft, that's my choice. Choice. I don't care what it is, but I believe we should all be operating in a choicefull environment. And Prof, Dr, Mrs, Ms, Miss, Mr, is not choice. It's defining me in terms of my relationship to a man and how much education I have managed to eke out in an education-defined-by-man universe. It's the box defined. Add Compeer, Citizen, Person, Gazi, etc. More defined. Still not including undefined 'none' and 'input field'. Still not addressing the underlying issue that we are man-defined. You and me both.
So subtly, you, and I am sure you have no grave intentions, have overtaken FPI with your beliefs and desires. You have not included me and my beliefs, you have ridden roughshod over them. Inclusivity would have cost nothing - You + Me. I have not yet made up my mind what to make of the fact that you did this, but your infectious enthusiasm is wonderful to behold. And I have, over the years of battling the Titling thing, become aware that others don't necessarily agree with me (ya think?).
Comments
Post a Comment