Recidivism. A moral quagmire

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I was astonished at this video because it didn't depict the patriarchal narrative of woman-as-victim, slinking off AS IF to hide her shame (this is how men hear our silence, and other women, and the next victim who then feels she must be silent and not tell HER mother, "what if I get blamed for soliciting that sexual attention" [when I was under 12] [in my personal view I believe the age of consent is stretching it at 16]). (Yes we want sex when we are under 16, but that doesn't give anyone the right to take advantage of our inability to make adult decisions about what to do with our bodies.)

What has this got to do with the public groping of an adult woman? That attitude right there is where the thinking is wrong. No girl, no woman, is there for you to act upon at any time without her express, enthusiastic, informed, uncoerced consent. No debate. 

AND THEN look at the very last moment of this video. #Aargh His friends embrace him back into the fold, here's your shoe buddy, let me help you, let's go get another drink. RIGHT THERE is where I put the blame for the bad behaviour of men. Peer shrugging. #PeerShrugging

...and on another note. Rapists are recidivists. There's no debate about this in criminological circles. And murderers are not recidivists. It is not the nature of the crime that keeps them behind bars it is the PERCEIVED harm to the individual victim for which they get caught.

With #MeToo they try and get the amount of PROVABLE women victims down - "an abandoned drunk whore he came upon behind a dumpster" (three months jail) compared to 60 professional women (possible 10 years) (how dare they depict us in this kind of comparison!). We're not harmed apparently, because we are not dead. We'll get over it apparently. We'll go on to smile another day. That we don't live in sadness and harm and victim-porn visibility every day gets these recidivists out of jail so they can go on to rape another day. So they can go on to molest another day.

In this video the woman had winggirls (this is why abusers take us cleverly to the side, break us away from our herd. They see our limp (social acquiesence), they can smell our future giggling or self-guilting. Let us look closely at the role-modeling of these winggirls. Study this closely, and do not let your daughter out of your sight, nor your friend, nor any stranger. We move in packs.

Rehabilitation. Is it possible? Will the recidivism stop? Statistically no. A man who is this badly socialized, that he feels free to dehumanize someone in this way, who gets rewarded with his shoe - No. I don't think so.

But something in me says we have to allow for truly contrite apologies. That our statistics are NOT gathering up the truly contrite men who changed their ways. The compulsory report-laws in America for paedophiles prevent them from seeking treatment, from being collected into datastreams. This creates a perception problem. A blind spot. Are paedophiles all trash? Are rapists all trash? Can we take the chance that they are not trash? Should the rehabilitatable cut us some slack for erring on the side of 'NOT one more victim' or is that victim worth our grace for acknowledging that there may be men who can be rehabilitated. I want to believe that rehabilitation is possible, I want us to live in a society that believes it. But for that, the #PeerShrugging has to stop. Really. It's bullshit.

https://nextshark.com/tourist-gropes-thai-women-public-learns-lesson-hard-way/

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