Etiquette of Hugging

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I don't want to be a part of this social madness. Huggers should have an H branded on their foreheads for this behaviour, like the Adulterers back in the day. 

I don't want to be hugged as part of the display of your social currency. If everyone hugs you back then you are liked. No. And when I say No the value of my Hug should not go up, should not make you more bankable. People should see you 'persuading' me in the same light as when a woman says No and you go on pushing, wheedling, whining, dismissing her sovereignty over her body. People should look at that and say, Hey, cut that out. Or intervene, or distract you with a colourful plastic toy. 

I am uncomfortable with hugging and touching people and I am uncomfortable x855 touching people who don't honour my discomfort or are sexist in another way, or racist. I don't want to hug PROBLEMATIC people. And I definitely don't want to hug people so that I can do the whole KEEP THE PEACE, NO SOCIAL CONFLICT OF ANY KIND bullshit rule that women and Calvinists have been socialized to preserve AT ALL COSTS. Especially costs that involve women's sovereignty over their bodies. It's not a small harmless discomfort that I can or should have to endure to make everyone feel like there's no problem.

And don't say, Why are you gathering with HIGHLY PROBLEMATIC people? They are everywhere. Vangi knows how to deal with them. Oh, I wish that was videoed. I would transcribe it and learn it like a SCRIPT! She is fearless!

Ironically, I like the people best who don't force me. Who let me be. I even want to hug them on occasion. They are socially acute people, who see me struggling and wait for me to take the lead. I can look into their eyes and share a moment of true solidarity, or true thankfulness, or true respect. There's such a great list of those I have gathered this week. Hardus, Janine, Sarah, Anre, Thorisho, Rethabile, Marko, Danai, Dawie, Innocent, Azeeza, Tshepo... and more. All of those moments meant something to me. And thanks for not Hugging. 

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