One of those Bechdel-passers that drives women mad. It passes because two named woman characters speak to each other about something other than a man - it's one word, but it counts. "Mama."
In my case, firstly....My sister used to parade herself half-naked in front of guys I brought home. Probably not intentionally, she wears really tiny clothes. Of course the guys would drop me like a hot potato! Boing! Eventually I thought to myself, what a brilliant test of the guy - so I brought them home on the first date! My girlfriend passed the test. Secondly...I also realise that I would have to lead a life of severe deprivation to get and keep a society-envisaged weight. I would have to do mind-vacating exercise almost all day long. I am WAY not going to do that. That would make me unhappy. I am prepared to lose some weight, do some exercise. Become normal like I used to be (what other people call fat), maybe ten or so kgs more. That's normal for me. But I don't kid myself about being thin. Oprah gets up at 5, she does 4 hours of exercise during the day that include 300 situps - she has a personal chef cooking nutritious delicious food for her wherever she goes. She go...
I had a friend ask me how to handle people justifying their poor treatment of non-binary people with biology - penis, vagina, procreation, chromosomes. I answered: It is important to address all the straw men that they throw out when they argue these points. They set up things for you to battle - gender, procreation, biology - and thereby define the terms of the argument. And those terms are (shrug) all good, for them. If they want to procreate, honor their penises and vaginas, and be addressed as Mr and Mrs, I would fight in the streets for their right to conduct their lives in any way they choose fit. Point 1. However, just because they are offended by the way other people conduct their lives does not mean they are right. In fact, Mr and Mrs have no right to lean over any fence and dictate to anyone how that person chooses to be addressed or how that person chooses to think about biology. Point 2. Under the guise of community or religion their attitude is unkind, ungenerou...
A friend asked me why I took back a friend that hurt me: I didn't know how to answer your question about this friend. There are friends I am still friends with that I have cried for days on my bed for how hurt I feel by things they have done. This friend is not one of those friends. What she did made me sad, but I have more difficult hurt from others. But I think the thing that is really part of this answer for me, that is the truth of the matter, that is why closer to the truth of it, is that if the role were reversed, how would I want that person to react? I react that way. I want them to give me another chance. When I go to someone and want to reconnect - even if it can't be with the most vulnerable thing - an apology - I would want them not to dismiss me. I am the girl who stays. I see the incredible generosity offered to me by my Black friends - white people do damage. And I don't always get it right. No one can shout louder at me than I have at myself. Apartheid-...
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