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What have you done for me lately?

The women of today are asking the second-wave feminists "What have you done for me lately?" What are feminists doing?" doing my bit to get rid of the Ms-Miss-Mrs to None offer a place to stay to women who have been abused (several) rescued a woman in a violent-home situation pick up women hitchhikers disseminate information about feminism actively support the activities of other women, even when the women themselves would not self-identify themselves or the activities as feminist promote a theme of the-man's-friends-are-culpable-in-an-abuse-of-women-situation act against women who abuse raise awareness in relationships that one of the partners is not enhancing the goals of the other partner make sure that women enter their houses safely before I leave, after dropping them off blog raise consciousness about informed choice raise awareness of sexual gratification do general computer-fun training for women at every opportunity took the education of the d...

On being fat

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In my case, firstly....My sister used to parade herself half-naked in front of guys I brought home. Probably not intentionally, she wears really tiny clothes. Of course the guys would drop me like a hot potato! Boing! Eventually I thought to myself, what a brilliant test of the guy - so I brought them home on the first date! My girlfriend passed the test. Secondly...I also realise that I would have to lead a life of severe deprivation to get and keep a society-envisaged weight. I would have to do mind-vacating exercise almost all day long. I am WAY not going to do that. That would make me unhappy. I am prepared to lose some weight, do some exercise. Become normal like I used to be (what other people call fat), maybe ten or so kgs more. That's normal for me. But I don't kid myself about being thin. Oprah gets up at 5, she does 4 hours of exercise during the day that include 300 situps - she has a personal chef cooking nutritious delicious food for her wherever she goes. She go...

Doris Day - Grrl counter-power

To be fair - it's difficult to think of a non-self-defining feminist woman as anything but a tool of the patriarchy. I have to concentrate on the fact that even though a woman would not call herself a feminist, she would never endorse  footbinding  (to name a radical example) and it doesn't necessarily mean she is a doormat either. In fact, some of my favorite women scorn my feminism and hate it when they are judged solely on their marital status or gender. Ironically if you look at films made during the so-called liberal 60s and 70s you will see that movies align the woman's role less to what is happening politically in the big wide world and more to what is happening in pornography. The rise of the snuff movie mirrored the rise of violence towards women in the movies, serial killer paradise. Pornography always centers on the woman - probably in an attempt to hide the size of the penis. From my perspective, I am less uncomfortable looking at vintage porn than  Emanuell...

Accomplishments of Feminism according to Phyllis Chesler

Expanded the boundaries of what women could want, such as high-powered careers, children, sexual freedom, political power — or all four at once. The public is now aware of research showing that the staggeringly high percentage of women murder victims have been murdered by husbands, boyfriend, relatives, or acquaintances. Nearly half of these women are killed when they tried to leave the man. Awareness that women are endangered by other women. Worldwide, “token torturers” [Mary Daly’s phrase] genitally mutilate girl children, banish their incestuously abused daughters — and not the abusive men who perpetrate it. Awareness that women shame each other into obedience [e.g.  women barter commitment for security so sexual ‘promiscuity’ cheapens her value  - Alma] Male family violence, child abuse, and child sex abuse are being recognized as crimes by police, courts and religions.

How I 'became' a feminist and lesbian

One of the things that really astounds me is the Awakening. You know that feeling of lying in bed and suddenly realising that you have been awake for some time. You realise that you have been lying there thinking and time has passed. Catching those last few thoughts before the Awakening lasts as long as the memory of a dream - not long. My waking into feminism was exactly like that. I never thought I 'needed' feminism. I knew myself, my mind, my capabilities. I could act and react. I believed that the only difference between men and women was biological, genital, surmountable. How wrong I was. I became aware that my previous stance and my current stance is a choice. The world brainwashes you, as does any system, feminism included. The difference is, that if you have become aware of an alternative reality, it undermines the ubiquitousness of reality number one. Alternative realities give the possibility of choosing, of making an informed decision. Of saying, 'These bits su...

Art: Bear with a log in its eye

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By Tanya Pretorius (fetsiboomsticks)

Same-sex marriage vs Civil unions

It does seem odd to seek marriage that has come up through the ranks of ages as a method of legitimising certain people over others - the progeny of this sort of union are better than the progeny of that sort of union. “This woman is my property, as are her children and my other property will go to them if I so decide.” Suzanne du Toit and Annemarie de Vos, who tested the adoption laws - that only one woman could adopt a child, not a pair of women. Annemarie adopted two children, and found that were she to die, that Suzanne would not legally be able to continue to live with and mother the children. They would have to go back into the foster care system and Suzanne would be offered no recognition of time served. They won. The courts now recognise, thanks to them, that those children belong to both women and no one can take them away. They are a whisker’s breadth away from legal marriage. What makes them not married? Certainly not anything in their lives. Only the law and/or a choice on ...

The way I watch movies

A friend wrote: We have problem there. The way we watch movies (you and me) is very much the same way in which we approach new social situations. With anything new, you (Fetsiboomsticks) zone in on particular details / people, attach, interact. Your commitment to the interaction causes you to have to sacrifice some of the details and facts, no one can be everywhere at once. You walk away with a good idea of the all over 'vibe' that was present at the time and what views who held and what their interests were, those that got your attention anyway. But all the background noise and activity slipped by unnoticed. Me, new people, I withdraw, look on from the distance, expend no energy on the interaction, so there is quite a substantial bit of energy left to employ peripheral vision along with the normal absorption of details. I see who talks to who, where they're standing, who they're comfortable talking to, what they're drinking, who's hiding by omitting, who...

On using Titles like Ms, Mrs, Mr

Feminism is awkward territory because it has no status quo that people have settled into comfortably, written books about, and studied on the scale that Sexism has, in its efforts to prop itself up. If you think about what real progress I made with CENSORED (Company) on the Titling issue you can see that moving forward is a slog. Now consider the sexist practices, they are already there - possession is nine tenths of the law - once you own a thing, it is almost impossible to make you let go of it. CENSORED (Company) owns the paper form and the e-form, the sexism on the form, and the possibility of change. Sexism is entrenched, and change is hard. I am sure that we are working harder to repeal the Title Mrs than the effort that went into setting it up in the first place. The hard part IS doing something about the status quo. I have consistently sent out emails, followed them up, taken steps forward, taken steps back on the Titling issue, among others. I live what I think. Feminism, ...

Review: Brokeback Mountain (2005)

Repartee with a homophobe (I was on top form the whole weekend, I was looking at myself astounded by my giftful gabbing). After Brokeback Mountain we went into Cappuccino's and had a coffee before going home. They have this circular smoking area. (I don't smoke but I prefer the vibe in the smoking areas, all those other verkrampte, "Eeeee, the secondhand smoke is killing me" whiners can sit together in the boring section if they want to). The smoking room opens without a door onto the outside of the restaurant (this is important for the next bit of the story... that there is a cave-like element to this layout, although not the design of the place.) But I didn't know that the movie was so long and I thought they were packing up the tables at, like, ten o'clock (it was closer to midnight). But no matter, the place where we were sitting was open and not-lock-upable) and the chairs built-in so I let them take the table and everything. But still the waiters hun...

"Gendercide by Mary Daly" - I think not, dingbat

In response to some man who first quotes his myriad 'qualifications' for being allowed to have a stupid opinion - then says that Mary Daly advocates gendercide. The difference between advocated gendercide against women by men and advocated gendercide against men by women is that women are doing nothing wrong and men are murdering, raping and warmongering, AND are BUSY COMMITTING gendercide against women and nature just as an exercise in power. Men are doing something wrong. Anyway, the use of the word 'gendercide' to describe what Mary Daly advocates is inflammatory. Mary Daly advocates A REDUCTION in the amount of men, not by murder and rape and war, but by 'mister-ectomy' - the act of getting rid of the men in your life that coerce you into being the conduit through which they plant their sperm, they then abandon the resultant child to a woman to nurse through infancy into adulthood on her own dime. This REDUCTION in the amount of men removes murderers, rapi...

Feminist Dictionary by Cheris Kramarae, Paula A. Treichler

This ‘almost cuntionary’ is more a dictionary of concepts. The almostness is described in the foreword. The inextricability of language and thought is a basic principle in my thinking and this book is evidence. Each word is given it’s context and a woman is credited with creating or re-creating it’s meaning. My reference to all things feminist.